So my husband and I get along in most big areas of our marriage like how to raise our kids, God/Jesus, where to go to church, making it to most family gatherings, and many other big things in our lives.
I think the thing that we get hung up is the man / woman thing. He thinks and communicates like a man, and me like a woman. I think that the longer you are married, the more you realize how differently each of us process the world. For example, if I say "I need a break, I am spent", he might think "What does she need a break from, does she need one right now? How can I help her with the break that she needs?" Until I ask him specifically what he is thinking when I say that, he sometimes just doesn't know what to say and I can't blame him. Sometimes it would be nice for him to read my mind, but God wouldn't have it that way .That is why he wants us to learn to communicate love and understanding to one another. He makes us work at it, but always helps us!
We just started praying together regularly (apart from saying Grace at dinner) and that has just opened a line of communication we have not experienced in a while. We saw the need to be close to each other in that way but just found it hard. That is such an intimate form of communication and even though we are both Christian, we found it hard. God is bringing us closer than ever before and I am thankful for that!
Marriage really does take 3 !
Monday, November 2, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
God's Good Works...Discovering that Meaning
Ever since I was a little girl, I have always liked helping others. My mom recently reminded me of a time when I was in high school. She said that one day I brought this boy home. He didn't have a safe place to stay so I told him to ride the bus with me and come to my house. To be honest, I vaguely remember that story but I do remember me thinking often "This person needs help, how can I help them?" I always wanted to be involved in different charities and organizations.I could probably go on about good things I have done, but the truth is, all of those good things don't count when it comes to God's standard.
So many times, I hear " I am a good person, I am going to heaven" and for so many years, I even believed that myself until about 8 years ago I began to read the Bible for myself and discovered the truth. I went to a Catholic chruch growing up and it was never encouraged to read the Bible on my own so I just believed what the priest was telling me, that is until I got to the age where I had many questions about all fo the things we had to do: kneel, stand, drink wine from a glass that everyone else is, and most of all, leaving there without a better understanding of who God is and if he was still here with me today.
All the help in the world cannot save anyone, neither can my good deeds. I can't try and get to heaven any more than anyone else. The only one that saves us is Jesus Christ. If you are thinking " Oh no, one of those Christian blogs", I have to tell you that there is truth in what the Bible has to say. If you read the Holy Bible , it has power. I told God about 8 years ago this very thing " You have my life God, whatever that means" and I felt Him say " Trust Me". Since then, even before I went to church or read my Bible I knew that my life was going to change, and it has. I don't understand it all but I have never read anything in the Bible or heard anything at the church we attend (Calvary Chapel Green Valley) that contradicts the Bible and God's message to all of us. I know that no church is perfect, but God's message does not change. He want us to be close to Him and live for Him rather than what we think is right at the time.It is not easy to grasp in many ways, but I know that He is continually changing me and teaching me through His word. I still have many questions and I search until I find the answer.
I want to encourage you to ask the big questions in life:" How did I get here?, Where am I going when I die? What is my purpose while I am here? and whatever else is on your heart. I challenge you to search until you find the answers. Not the answer that you want to hear,or are comfortable to hear, but the truth. It is not about religion, or what you were born into, or what you are supposed to believe, but a relationship with God who created us to know Him and make Him known.
If any of you want to chat about this or any blogs, feel free to email me at : loshaw625@yahoo.com or comment.
May God Bless you as you embark on the journey of your life!
So many times, I hear " I am a good person, I am going to heaven" and for so many years, I even believed that myself until about 8 years ago I began to read the Bible for myself and discovered the truth. I went to a Catholic chruch growing up and it was never encouraged to read the Bible on my own so I just believed what the priest was telling me, that is until I got to the age where I had many questions about all fo the things we had to do: kneel, stand, drink wine from a glass that everyone else is, and most of all, leaving there without a better understanding of who God is and if he was still here with me today.
All the help in the world cannot save anyone, neither can my good deeds. I can't try and get to heaven any more than anyone else. The only one that saves us is Jesus Christ. If you are thinking " Oh no, one of those Christian blogs", I have to tell you that there is truth in what the Bible has to say. If you read the Holy Bible , it has power. I told God about 8 years ago this very thing " You have my life God, whatever that means" and I felt Him say " Trust Me". Since then, even before I went to church or read my Bible I knew that my life was going to change, and it has. I don't understand it all but I have never read anything in the Bible or heard anything at the church we attend (Calvary Chapel Green Valley) that contradicts the Bible and God's message to all of us. I know that no church is perfect, but God's message does not change. He want us to be close to Him and live for Him rather than what we think is right at the time.It is not easy to grasp in many ways, but I know that He is continually changing me and teaching me through His word. I still have many questions and I search until I find the answer.
I want to encourage you to ask the big questions in life:" How did I get here?, Where am I going when I die? What is my purpose while I am here? and whatever else is on your heart. I challenge you to search until you find the answers. Not the answer that you want to hear,or are comfortable to hear, but the truth. It is not about religion, or what you were born into, or what you are supposed to believe, but a relationship with God who created us to know Him and make Him known.
If any of you want to chat about this or any blogs, feel free to email me at : loshaw625@yahoo.com or comment.
May God Bless you as you embark on the journey of your life!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Yahtzee Date Nights
What God Says:Song of Solomon 6:3 " I am my lover's and my lover is mine; he browses among the lilies."
It is early in the week and you have been dancing through life with the kids and all the mommyhood things we know go on. Cooking(not always your Betty Crocker top notch sort-of meal), cleaning( toys and picking at the grout from crayon marks or smashed cupcake pieces), and looking forward to your husband's day off of work so you guys can get that long awaited time alone, when suddenly you realize that the people that you trust most with your little ones are not available any time soon. What do you do?
For Norah, our 2 year old,we were able to find someone to watch her almost once a week. Family was more that willing to babysit. She was the first grand baby and niece and I provided pumped milk in a bottle and off we were. She didn't know any better, she slept as long as someone was holding her. Then came Lincoln.We love our parents, brothers, sisters and friends, but when you have 2 children in diapers it is a lot more difficult to find people that are willing to watch them so you can have a date night or are available when you need them,especially where we live in the city that never sleeps aka....Las Vegas. Of course we love our children, but our marriage was here before our children and we need to nourish this marriage no matter what!!!
Having said that...what are we to do? Now, Jake and I try to have 1 date night a month or every other month out. We get dressed up and have a nice dinner or go see a movie or go bowling and we always try and end the night with ice cream. That is just our thing. After those nights, no matter what is going on in life, we feel reconnected and have that special "in love" feeling that we had before children and real responsibilities.
In the meantime, because date nights once every month or 2 is NOT enough to sustain a marriage, we have Yahtzee tournaments on the couch. At dinner we might throw out a comment " Yahtzee tonight, you're gonna lose" with a smirk. So when the kids are sleeping we go downstairs and shake the dice in our hands because they are too loud in the cup and play as many games until we are pooped and ready for bed. This is fun for us and keeps the playful nature in our marriage until we can get the romantic date night out.
Mommyhood Moral of the Story by Tami: Redefine date nights as necessary but GET THEM IN! Your marriage is important and was there before the kids. It needs water and love to grow, so find out what mists your plant in between real watering.
It is early in the week and you have been dancing through life with the kids and all the mommyhood things we know go on. Cooking(not always your Betty Crocker top notch sort-of meal), cleaning( toys and picking at the grout from crayon marks or smashed cupcake pieces), and looking forward to your husband's day off of work so you guys can get that long awaited time alone, when suddenly you realize that the people that you trust most with your little ones are not available any time soon. What do you do?
For Norah, our 2 year old,we were able to find someone to watch her almost once a week. Family was more that willing to babysit. She was the first grand baby and niece and I provided pumped milk in a bottle and off we were. She didn't know any better, she slept as long as someone was holding her. Then came Lincoln.We love our parents, brothers, sisters and friends, but when you have 2 children in diapers it is a lot more difficult to find people that are willing to watch them so you can have a date night or are available when you need them,especially where we live in the city that never sleeps aka....Las Vegas. Of course we love our children, but our marriage was here before our children and we need to nourish this marriage no matter what!!!
Having said that...what are we to do? Now, Jake and I try to have 1 date night a month or every other month out. We get dressed up and have a nice dinner or go see a movie or go bowling and we always try and end the night with ice cream. That is just our thing. After those nights, no matter what is going on in life, we feel reconnected and have that special "in love" feeling that we had before children and real responsibilities.
In the meantime, because date nights once every month or 2 is NOT enough to sustain a marriage, we have Yahtzee tournaments on the couch. At dinner we might throw out a comment " Yahtzee tonight, you're gonna lose" with a smirk. So when the kids are sleeping we go downstairs and shake the dice in our hands because they are too loud in the cup and play as many games until we are pooped and ready for bed. This is fun for us and keeps the playful nature in our marriage until we can get the romantic date night out.
Mommyhood Moral of the Story by Tami: Redefine date nights as necessary but GET THEM IN! Your marriage is important and was there before the kids. It needs water and love to grow, so find out what mists your plant in between real watering.
Can't even go to the bathroom....to be attached or not to be???? that is the question
What God Says: "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward." Psalm 127:3
So yesterday, my 13 month old son was screaming at the bathroom door as I sneaked in there to...you guessed it, go "potty". You would think that he just had a door slammed on his tiny little sausage fingers, but no, just me leaving him for a moment in time to use the restroom and dare I say "Have a few minutes of quiet time too"?? was enough to put him over the edge. Thank God, my 2 1/2 year old daughter was reassuring me from her booster seat yelling "Mommy, I am not crying". Believe it or not, it did help me to know that this stage of attachment would end eventually and that she had a level of understanding that at this moment, I did not have.
(Back up a little bit in time).... My husband and I did not get babies that like to sleep in the beautifully painted nursery, or even pack and play right next to us. I know some of you out there have those children that give you space and sleep through the night at 6 weeks old, God bless you and those little gifts .
Since our kids were both tiny little infants, they liked to be sleeping on me in the swing or close to us. Because of a few Christian parenting books, and our conscience, not to mention crying baby until we put them in bed with us, we decided it was best to have our children sleep with us (from 3 months or so on with Lincoln for safety reasons) so we all got some sleep. With Norah,our first, we were totally against the "family bed" because it was bad for children and the parents....so we heard at the time. But let me tell you, she cried for 9 months about every 45 minutes or so if she was in the pack and play but we were able to go for 2 hours in the swing. It wasn't until our trip to Michigan that Norah had her first 12 hours of sleep and you guessed it, in our bed with us. It was pure heaven. I kept waking up because I wasn't woken up by crying. She slept with us until a month or so before Lincoln was born. She went to her big girl bed...that is another story (baby steps with that too)
I say all of this because I believe that God wants us to keep our children close to us and take your baby's cue. If they need you, especially as an infant, be there for them. What greater investment in the life of another, than your love. I breastfed both children for a year and it was so rewarding for me and for them in so many areas. Did you know that breastfeeding burns 500 calories a day? and it's free and most women are able to unless you had breast surgery where they detached the nipple. A lactation consultant friend of mine said that she is taught that 95% of women can indeed breastfeed. Ask for help if you need it, and enjoy the gift of life God has given you.
Now, don't think it wasn't hard. It was indeed inconvenient at times when I had to walk into another room in the middle of a conversation, or pull over on the side of the road to feed because I didn't give a bottle or when I ripped a shirt of mine trying to be stylish and get breastfeeding right.
As it stands now, I am finished with breastfeeding ( a year is my limit) and Norah is definitely much more independent now. She has been sleeping in her big girl bed for about a year now and Lincoln is slowly learning to wean from holding my hair or being next to me to sleep. I don't just want to stop cold turkey, I want him to know that I am not far, but give him the security he needs to relax and go to sleep......so baby steps. After all they are only little for such a little bit of time. Let's enjoy those moments even when we don't feel like it.
Mommyhood Moral of the Story By Tami: "Give your babies what they need, listen to that still small voice of Jesus telling you what to do and even if your friends or family look down on you, if it's good for you and your family and God approves, than do it!"
So yesterday, my 13 month old son was screaming at the bathroom door as I sneaked in there to...you guessed it, go "potty". You would think that he just had a door slammed on his tiny little sausage fingers, but no, just me leaving him for a moment in time to use the restroom and dare I say "Have a few minutes of quiet time too"?? was enough to put him over the edge. Thank God, my 2 1/2 year old daughter was reassuring me from her booster seat yelling "Mommy, I am not crying". Believe it or not, it did help me to know that this stage of attachment would end eventually and that she had a level of understanding that at this moment, I did not have.
(Back up a little bit in time).... My husband and I did not get babies that like to sleep in the beautifully painted nursery, or even pack and play right next to us. I know some of you out there have those children that give you space and sleep through the night at 6 weeks old, God bless you and those little gifts .
Since our kids were both tiny little infants, they liked to be sleeping on me in the swing or close to us. Because of a few Christian parenting books, and our conscience, not to mention crying baby until we put them in bed with us, we decided it was best to have our children sleep with us (from 3 months or so on with Lincoln for safety reasons) so we all got some sleep. With Norah,our first, we were totally against the "family bed" because it was bad for children and the parents....so we heard at the time. But let me tell you, she cried for 9 months about every 45 minutes or so if she was in the pack and play but we were able to go for 2 hours in the swing. It wasn't until our trip to Michigan that Norah had her first 12 hours of sleep and you guessed it, in our bed with us. It was pure heaven. I kept waking up because I wasn't woken up by crying. She slept with us until a month or so before Lincoln was born. She went to her big girl bed...that is another story (baby steps with that too)
I say all of this because I believe that God wants us to keep our children close to us and take your baby's cue. If they need you, especially as an infant, be there for them. What greater investment in the life of another, than your love. I breastfed both children for a year and it was so rewarding for me and for them in so many areas. Did you know that breastfeeding burns 500 calories a day? and it's free and most women are able to unless you had breast surgery where they detached the nipple. A lactation consultant friend of mine said that she is taught that 95% of women can indeed breastfeed. Ask for help if you need it, and enjoy the gift of life God has given you.
Now, don't think it wasn't hard. It was indeed inconvenient at times when I had to walk into another room in the middle of a conversation, or pull over on the side of the road to feed because I didn't give a bottle or when I ripped a shirt of mine trying to be stylish and get breastfeeding right.
As it stands now, I am finished with breastfeeding ( a year is my limit) and Norah is definitely much more independent now. She has been sleeping in her big girl bed for about a year now and Lincoln is slowly learning to wean from holding my hair or being next to me to sleep. I don't just want to stop cold turkey, I want him to know that I am not far, but give him the security he needs to relax and go to sleep......so baby steps. After all they are only little for such a little bit of time. Let's enjoy those moments even when we don't feel like it.
Mommyhood Moral of the Story By Tami: "Give your babies what they need, listen to that still small voice of Jesus telling you what to do and even if your friends or family look down on you, if it's good for you and your family and God approves, than do it!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)